The Gift of Feedback

When I was in year 3 I had a teacher who hated me. I don't know why. I just remember her yelling at (according to me) random moments. I would get my marks back - lots of red ink. And I remember at one point realising I did not, and could not, understand what was happening... so I just decided to ignore it (and ignore her – cue more yelling!). Now, as an adult, I am sure the lady probably had some logic. Knowing me, I was probably dancing when she was trying to explain something. Or making up my own stories when we were supposed to be doing maths... I will never know. I was probably bored, distracted, moving… you know, being a kid! From her feedback I was just left with the bad feeling of being disliked. As an adult, looking back, I realise there was a deep disconnect between her feedback and my ability to grasp it. And a bigger gap between her goal – getting me to engage in her teaching – and her approach: yelling and complaining. I also realise now  that she lacked the skills to understand and feedback to young children effectively - after all I was just 9!

Do you remember feedback that was either really powerful, or really useless, from your own childhood? What made it so good? Or so bad?

There is a vital point to consider here: feedback shapes not just learning but our children's emotional well-being and self-image. As home educators, while we have the unique advantage of knowing our children deeply, we still need to think carefully about how we communicate with them during their learning journey.

When giving feedback to our children, it's tempting to focus on the practical aspects which answers to correct, what work they are doing. However, there's a deeper dimension we should consider: Why are we giving feedback, and how can we ensure it truly serves our children's growth and development?

As humans, we all seek validation and understanding. Our children want us to truly see their efforts, engage with their thoughts, and recognize their progress. Effective feedback isn't just about pointing out errors – it's about highlighting strengths, encouraging growth, and inspiring further exploration.

 Think of feedback as a gift we're giving our children. Just as we carefully consider what gifts would benefit them most, we should tailor our feedback to their individual needs, abilities, and emotional readiness.

This personal, nurturing approach to feedback is one of home education's greatest strengths.

Recent OECD research revealed that one in four children in traditional educational settings don't receive feedback about their strengths – a startling statistic that we can actively avoid in our home learning environments. By being mindful and intentional with our feedback, we can create a learning atmosphere where our children feel seen, understood, and supported in their educational journey.

The key is to remember that giving feedback is as much about our growth as parents as it is about our children's learning. It requires us to develop empathy, improve our communication skills, and think critically about how best to support each child's unique learning path. When we approach feedback this way, it becomes a powerful tool for building not just knowledge, but also confidence, resilience, and a love of learning.